Vulnerability, the key to open up your heart [even when its numbed]
Last night, I happened to see a movie called The Good Doctor, it’s about a young doctor, Dr Murphy, who is Autistics, he has an innate gift that is far from the ordinary, but because of his autism, he couldn’t relate to most people in the most ‘appropriate’ Manners expected by the society 😎
One of the President in a big hospital wanted to hire him, to give him a chance so that he his skills, can benefit people.
But the whole room, filled with board of directors, everybody were against him. They fear that the hospital will only end up paying more malpractice insurance. The room was filled with tension, fear.
But then, there come a chance when Dr Murphy was asked, a seemingly simple question, “WHY, do you want to be a surgeon?”, the room went silent, waited…and waited… and waited for an answer that never seem to come.
Dr Murphy, has went into his deep thought, recalling the tragic memories he had in his childhood 💔
Then, as the audience were about to give up waiting, he opened his mouth, he answered,
“On a xx…day, …my rabbit went to the heaven, right in front of my eyes….
On a xx… day, …my brother, went to the heaven, right in front of my eyes.
I couldn’t save them. They should have a chance to be adults, but they couldn’t. I, want to give this chance to people. I want to save lives”. 🔥 🔥 🔥
His eyes were wet.
The board directors were in awe, speechless by now, 🙊 as if their heart were forced open with love, as if they were finally able to see with their heart” 💘 💘 💘
One senior doctor stood up, offered her hand and said, “I want to be the first to welcome you into our hospital… “. And the rest of the audience stood up in agreement and claps.
Words can’t describe the full emotions one are feeling, but I’m sure you get the point.
[su_pullquote]The power of Vulnerability[/su_pullquote]
My reflection of this movie is, Your Story May Not Change The World, But Your Story Can Change Someone’s World. ✨ ✨ ✨
There have been times when my little voice whispered, “You got to be crazy to tell your story! This is Asia, you are Chinese! It’s taboo! Women should just keep quiet and suffer alone”.
But yesterday’s movie, it was as if it is speaking to my little voice.
It is ok to be vulnerable.
It is ok to be authentic.
It is ok to be judged.
The ones who are aligned with your mission will stay.
The ones who are not, will leave.
And so be it.
I do not need to influence the whole world, nor do I need to help the whole world.
All I want, is to help those who wants to be helped, so they do not have to go through what I went through.
Perhaps I could save, one soul at a time.
I want to heal, I want to mend, the broken heart, so they too, can dream again and create the life they love.
And that to me, is enough.
Dr Brene Brown, a researcher spoke about Vulnerability, that it is strongly correlated to Courage, Compassion, Connection.
She found that people crave for connection and in order to get connection, you got to be willing to be vulnerable.
To have the courage to be imperfect.
To have the compassion to yourself and then to others.
And as a result, you create connection with people.
To be vulnerable is to let go of your mask, of who you thought you should be.
People who choose to be vulnerable believe that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.
There is a love hate relationship when it comes to vulnerability.
Dr Brown said, Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear, the struggle for worthiness. At the same time, it is also the birth place of joy, creativity, belonging, love.
Research shows that you cannot selectively numb emotions, you can’t say I don’t want to feel disappointed, fear, shame, I just want to numb these negative emotions. I don’t want to feel these emotions.
When you do that, you numb the positive emotions too, the joy, the happiness, the gratitude, love. You numb everything together. Then you become miserable, you feel that life has no purpose and meaning and you get stuck in the vicious cycle of pretending.
Vulnerability is about letting yourself be deeply seen, with all the pain and joy, with all the wounds and love, to love with your whole heart even when you know there is no guarantee that it will be reciprocated.
Vulnerability is about appreciating the beauty of what you have now, to be grateful for your lessons in life, and to know that you are enough.
To be vulnerable to me means to let go of my mask and let others see my authentic self, my imperfect self, complete with my pain and joy, my fear and courage, my breakdown and breakthrough.
What about you? What does vulnerability mean to you? Please share below.
In Authenticity & Courage,
Rainy the Rainmaker
P.S. Knowing what you know now, how can you engage a personal coach so you can achieve your goals faster and easier?
You can contact me at Rainy@growwithrainy.com for a 90 minutes complimentary Discovery session or find out more at https://growwithrainy.com/coaching-with-rainy/