Disagreements? Conflicts? Misunderstandings at work or home?
It’s all got to do with this one thing – the meaning. So if you’d like to learn how to minimise disagreements, conflicts or misunderstandings in your personal or professional life, read on.
It sounds like this:
“My boss passed the new project to my juniors.” = He doesn’t value me.
“My son never calls me” = He doesn’t love me
“My colleague always criticises me” = He doesn’t like me
How does holding on to the above meaning makes you feel?
“My boss passed the new project to my juniors.” = He value me more to handle complicated projects.
“My son never calls me” = Despite he doesn’t call me, he’ll hug me each time he got home. I know he loves me.
“My colleague always criticises me” = He has a high standard and demands perfections.
How does the above make you feel in comparison to the earlier meaning?
Have you ever wondered why some people are generally happier and more positive than others?
It’s all in the meaning we give to the events.
When we take things personally and negatively, we make ourselves feel bad.
When we constantly try to mind-read other people, we tend to assume the worst of ourselves and others and that’s how I got into a debate with a friend recently.
We were talking about what happens when we grow old and she asked, “Would you wipe your partner’s butt when he is bed-ridden?”
I responded, “That’s a really bad vision to have for the old age. I’ve seen some elderly aging gracefully and healthily, and we must aim for that.”
And my friend said, “You have no empathy.”
So I probed further.
How is it that when I said that’s a bad vision, that means I have no empathy???
It turned out that, she expects me to say, “I’ll be there for him, through thick and thin”
Instead of saying that, my focus was on dis-agreeing with her vision that when one is old, one will be bed-ridden.
It’s my occupational hazard as a coach to challenge limiting beliefs. I tend to get triggered when I catch a limitation that could prevent people from being at their best.
So because of what I’ve said, she concluded that it means I have no empathy. That judgement makes me feel like my character was being questioned. We both had different meanings and that creates unhappiness between us, because we were not looking from the same point of view.
Thankfully, I apologised and explained my POINT OF VIEW, and said, “Once I am committed to my relationship, I stay committed, and that includes being together through thick and thin.”
What bothers me a lot is if we are not doing what we can to take good care of ourselves now, it could cause our loved ones to suffer in the future.
Will I ever want my loved one to wipe my butt when I’m old? Ideally no.
And hence, I’ve been working on my health, doing what’s within my control to stay fit and healthy. And If the worst were to happen, at least I know, I’ve done my best.
So it’s all in the meaning my friends.
Let’s choose the meaning that empowers us to be at our best and to have a healthy relationship with others, shall we?
And Stop, AssU n me 🙂
Hi I’m Rainy Rainmaker – Making You Rain Your Power so that you can achieve more goals faster and easier [ without anxiety, fear or stress ]
🤝Connect with me ➡️https://www.linkedin.com/in/rainyrainmaker/