I’ve heard about The Go-Giver book from 2 people whom I encountered. One of them was a young public speaker, coach and entrepreneur Jonecca, who was able to build her brand and a thriving training and coaching business in a short one year. I was curious of her success and she attributed her success to ‘The Go-Givers’ book.
I heard about the book for the second time from Julia, a digital marketing director, a very attractive giver. When Julia gave me a casual remark “you are already applying the Go-Givers principles”, she got me even more curious to read the book.
Finally, I managed to read the book today. It was a short read, only have 144 page. Though it was short, it resonates so much in me that I cried. Funny, it wasn’t even a romantic story.
I thought I would share my reflection and classic quotes from the book, may you be inspired to apply it in your life and be pleasantly surprised at what life could give you when you choose to give to life.
The Law of Stratospheric Success
1. The Law of Value
“Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.”
You could be serving some great hot dog in town, but no doubts there are other stores in town that serve great hot dog too. Serving great hot dog is important, it’s the bare minimum that you should meet. What’s more important is the experience you give people.
“Everyone likes to be appreciated.” ~ It’s not about the sales techniques you’ve learnt, it’s about getting into people’s heart.
“Exceed people’s expectations, they’ll pay you more.” ~ reminds me of what my coach told me, “I didn’t raise my pay, my clients raise my pay.”
“Give not because it’s a strategy, give because you love to give. Give, because it’s a way of life and that’s when profitable things come to you.” ~ giving is a simple way of life, but unfortunately, it tends to be forgotten.
Perhaps because most people are so stressed up and pressured to meet their personal commitment aka KPI (Key Performance Indicator), they have forgotten about the simple way of life as a human being. Or perhaps, they have not encountered this book and no one bothers to tell them how to live better.
2. The Law of Compensation
“Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.”
Your income is unlimited, because there is no limit to the number of people you can serve. In the past, many businesses are limited geographically. Now with the strong internet speed, many businesses are able to go global. Instead of just serving people in Singapore, I can now serve people globally.
Serving may not come with direct monetarily return, it can come back indirectly. There are two trainers I know, one of them is Lindley Craig, President of NLP Associations Singapore. She runs a workshop monthly teaching people Neuro-Linguistic Programming tools and strategies to master their mind and change their life. She charges a minimum $10-$15 just to cover rental and food for participants. The workshops weren’t profitable at all because she didn’t up-sell people into her full course. But because she gave so much values serving many people over time, those people started talking about how good she is, they started referring training gigs and executive coaching clients to her and that elevated her business and income earned.
Another man I know, Rahul Shah, started a Facebook Up Your Game community to serve people freely. Every month he invited speakers and trainers to share their knowledge in his community event. People love his events because it contributed to their personal development. The community has grown over the years and he has his fair share of followers and yet he did not profit from the free events. However, because he’s been serving and giving in the community, he gained extraordinary self-fulfilment. I asked him what does that mean, he said “It gives a good night’s rest knowing you are able to lead a life of meaning. Very precious.”
There are plenty of these people out there, these are just to name a few of those who have inspired me with their givers act. And I know for the fact that you are reading this, you are either a giver, or you will become a great giver soon.
“What you focus on is you get.’ ~ if you focus on ‘the world is full of bad people and con artist’, that’s what you gonna meet. If you focus on ‘the world is beautiful and full of good people’, you will begin to meet more of those people. Test it out. Though I ‘failed’ in my marriage, but other areas of my life are beautiful. I refuse to be bitter and to carry that bitterness into my present and future. I have many people who truly love me, care for me, who believes in me and nurture me and that’s what I choose to focus on.
3. The Law of Influence
“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interest first.”
What makes people genuinely attractive? They share one thing in common, they love to give. As a giver, you become attractive and magnetic and that’s when the law of influence work.
“Do you know how to develop a ‘network’?” ~ A network in this book is defined as the people who know you, like you and trust you.
“People do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.” ~ People who like you and trust you may not be buying from you, but they may know people who needs what you have. Do you have an army of ‘personal walking ambassadors’? I call them ’raving fans’?
How many people do you have in your life, who like you, trust you and would love to see you succeeding and celebrate with you? When you’ve got an army of ‘personal walking ambassadors’, you will have an overflow of referrals coming through.
When I first started my coaching business, I met Kate and Lilin. I thought I’ve given them so much with my life coaching and strategic interventions. But now looking back, they have given me so much more than I could ever imagined. They’ve become my raving fans, they believe in me so much so that everything that I do, they will give their best support. They don’t just refer clients to me, they love me like their best friend. What appears to be me giving more, turned up to be me receiving so much more.
“Stop keeping score” ~ How many of us tend to calculate, how much we’ve given? Give to who? How much have we got back in return? How much have we got paid? What would happen to our business, friendship, marriage, if we stop keeping score? I wished I have learned this a decade earlier. Perhaps I wouldn’t lose my marriage.
“I care more about my wife’s happiness than I do about my own”
4. The Law of Authenticity
“The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”
How often have you heard this “he/she said all the right words, but it just doesn’t feel right”? Have you experienced this personally?
I have. And I know, that’s when I feel there is misalignment somewhere, the vibes wasn’t right, I can’t tell why, but it just doesn’t feel right.
When you try to be someone you are not, you won’t be able to get to people’s heart, no matter how good your building rapport techniques are, no matter how good your sales trainings are. What you feel within you, will be projected out somehow.
Does authenticity means vulnerability? It may or may not be. Someone who is not vulnerable doesn’t mean he or she is not authentic.
I remember my friend Sean told me, “I can’t tell my stories like you, it just doesn’t feel comfortable, doesn’t feel like me.” Sean was referring to my act of telling my personal stories of pain and failures in public. My reply was, “I was able to do that and feel like myself, because authenticity is one of my top 5 values. You don’t have to be like me, you can just be you and you are already authentic to me.”
If you want to be authentic, check your values. If you can live in alignment with your personal values, chances are, you would be able to just be yourself.
5. The Law of Receptivity
“The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.”
When you stop people from giving their gifts, you are stopping the flow of giving and receiving. What rights do you have to stop people from the pleasure of giving?
“It’s not better to give than to receive. It’s insane to try to give and not receive” ~ It’s just like breathing, when you breath in, you breath out. Is it better to just breath in and not breath out? Or vice versa? No. To be a good giver, you got to be a good receiver too. Give sincerely and be open to receive.
I had a conversation with a friend. Let’s call him Jeff. Jeff is a humble giver, very knowledgable and has been successful in his corporate life. He’s always generous in sharing his knowledge and helping people out of their mental block. Because of his generosity and his easy going nature, he gets along well with people.
One day, someone who received his kindness, let’s call her Cindy, gave him a ‘shout out’ online, praising him for his good deeds. But he told her, “don’t do that.” He felt that he didn’t deserve the limelight and he was concerned if anyone would get envy with his popularity.
My response to him was “You received the shout out because you’ve earned it. What right do you have to stop people from the pleasure of showing appreciation to you?”
I quoted the poem by Marianne Williamson to him.
Here it goes…
“….Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
In summary, don’t you ever dim your light because it is your authentic self. When you shine, the whole world can shine with you!
Be a great giver and a great receiver.
You will be in awe of the possibilities ahead of you.
In Authenticity & Courage,